I spend a lot of time thinking about how things are always in flux and how they will probably never be as stable as they are at this very moment right now, as they have already let off enough quarks to form an alternate dimension of “me’s” that potentially wants to calculate the time it would take for these subatomic a particles to write what I am about to, in a manner that seems suitable enough for me to read back to myself and not hate with every fiber of my being. Yes, you read right, that was all one sentence.

That then brings me to another point, what happens when our written voice is unable to keep up with the idea we have about how it will be contextualized in the minds eye of the reader? Or rather, in a less idiotic sort of phrasing, Are our voices that we believe we project in writing the same words that the reader would interpret them as?

That’s not something I’m at all qualified to answer or ask as I have done no research on the matter nor did I give it more proper thought then the split second in which the idea went off in my head as i walked down Lexington avenue this morning, hoping my hands wouldn’t fall off from the particularly dry wind that helped magnify the effects of the cold on my epidermis. Silly again, I know, but that’s what I’m known for at this point, and I’m okay with that.

But beyond being silly, the thing that fascinates me so very much about that sentence is not the content, but rather the context for which it was written. To both ascertain the why, “I” write the way I do, and how, it is that, “that” is what I choose to translate from wave lengths in my head to the typed words upon this screen while I neglect to acknowledge that there are probably going to be mistakes. Lots of them, yet I won’t ever look for them, because lets be honest, I’ve got this self loathing things down pat.

Its’ taken me 3 days to write about the last 10 words in that sentence. I’m not sure what i was expecting to get out of this, more then an explanation to how I perceive the idea of my thoughts as words on pages, its an indictment of irrational thinking made to assume its rational. That a template for good will always stand true and help people form their own opinions, as that’s what everyone wants… the easy route that’s already paved.

Tune in next week for even more depravities.